Catfished
by IWillNeverLetYouDown
Summary: A/U: Alex Vause receives a Facebook friend request from a girl she does not know at all, deciding to accept the request to get her mind off her ex-girlfriend. Piper Chapman, pressured by her best friend, creates a fake Facebook account and starts messaging with a really hot gal. What will happen when the two get to know each other?
1. Distractions and Friend Requests

**_One_**

* * *

"Desperate times call for desperate measurements, Vause. You need to get your head out of your ass and get back on the playing field," Nicky Nicholas peeps in Alex's ear. "And, by field, I mean softball field."

Trying to hold in her laugh so as not to encourage the frizzy-haired friend, Alex Vause returns her attention back to her cell phone, where she has taken up scrolling through her messages instead of listening. For a hot second, she debates sticking in her earphones, but that would sure get a rise out of her best friend and would most likely cause Nicky to talk even more. So, she keeps mindlessly looking at her dim screen like the rest of the world does these days.

"Come on, let's go out and _do _something for once! We're wasting away the best years of our lives here, Vause. And I want to get fucking laid. I need it. So, at least come out to club with me tomorrow night and be my wing-woman," Nicky pleas.

Finally, Alex caves, finally a little sad that her friend is trying this hard to help _her _get over her break-up while masking it differently to Alex (but she knows her friend's real intent—and that is to get Alex, not herself, although, ok, probably her, too, laid). And, when Alex thinks about it, she really does need to stop thinking about her ex Jules. It's not like the broke up on bad terms. Jules had to move to fucking Europe for her job and Alex couldn't leave hers behind. She couldn't leave her mom, friends and life behind, too, and that became an issue. Plus, Jules even admitted they were becoming more like friends than lovers and that Alex deserved someone who would loved her deeply and fully.

"Earth to Vause?" Nicky is waving her hands in front of Alex's face to try to get her attention—she obviously was off in la la land a few seconds ago.

"Yeah, hey, sorry Nicky. It's been hard for me. Jules and I were together for a long time. But, I could use a release. It's time to get over her," Alex says with finality, agreeing to go clubbing the following evening.

Nicky gives a "whoop" in triumph, shoving her both her fists straight into the air like she is trying to mimic the iconic scene from _Rocky_. Then she brings her fists down, allowing them to stay in a curled up position so that she can lightly punch Alex in the shoulder.

"You're going to get fucked up, and I'm going to get fucked. Looks like it will be a perfect night for the dynamic duo."

Alex doesn't hold back her laugh this time, smiling and chuckling along with Nicky as they come up with exact plans for the next day. After a while, Alex seems to completely forget about Jules and about her break-up, and, instead, she is excited and anxious.

Once another half an hour rolls by, Nicky knocks back the rest of her Coors Light can and tosses it into the nearby trash can. Alex watches as Nicky places a call to her limo driver, giving Alex one more pat on the back before she bids her farewell and exits Alex's modest apartment.

"Finally alone," Alex mumbles to herself before ambling over to the kitchen to pour herself another full glass of red wine. Thinking she might as well eat since she's drinking all this wine, Alex picks up her phone and places an order for Thai food to be delivered to her apartment. Satisfied with her Thursday evening so far, she plops back down on the couch, turning the channel and simultaneously pulling her iPhone back out.

Normally, Alex had no use for social media. It wasn't around when she was growing up, and, anyway, it's not like she had any friends back then either. Now, as the world of social media has taken over, Alex still has no use for it. She doesn't need to reconnect with old friends (because she doesn't have any…) and she only has two or three actual friends in current time besides her mother Diane.

Plus, she doesn't want to logon to see all of what Jules is doing—her ex is an avid social media user and posts all the time, and, frankly, Alex doesn't think she can handle seeing her posts all the time.

But, right now, slightly inebriated, Alex wants to see what is happening in her ex's life. Is she happy? Where in Europe is she now? Is she, God forbid, dating someone already? Alex had to know, and, if she didn't do it now while not completely sober, she never would and never would want to again anyway.

So, she unlocks her phone, touches the Facebook app, waits for it to open and then searches for Jules.

_Julianna Winaboro—click _

Jules page pops up, her profile picture one of Alex's favorites. Alex actually took the picture when her girlfriend wasn't looking at her but instead at the sunny sky. She scrolls down her ex's feed, finding a few pictures of her new travels (Switzerland, England and Italy) and a couple statuses.

Staring at the pictures in her photos, Alex finds herself indulging in way too many large gulps of wine. She also is trying valiantly to wipe away the tears that have somehow managed to make their path down her face.

"Fucking get ahold of yourself, you idiot," Alex scolds herself.

She's about to exit the app all together out of anger, sadness and spite, when she notices a little red notification pop up under friend requests. Curious because Alex knows she hasn't met anyone new recently (and bewildered that someone took the time to seek her out and send a request), she clicks the friend request notification center.

A name appears that she knows she has never seen previously in her life. What's even more perplexing is that the friend requester and her do not even have one mutual friend in common. Odd.

But Alex gives this person the benefit of the doubt and proceeds to click on their profile before deciding whether or not to accept the request.

The photos on the page are all professionally done, as if this girl is a model. She's got the longest blonde hair and toned legs that Alex has ever seen. She has a cute pair of glasses and a devilishly smirk. And, even though Alex has no idea who this is, she's lonely and horny and this girl is hot.

So she accepts Penny Chipman's friend request.

Why not?

* * *

"Polly, remind me again why I am making a fake Facebook account under the name Penny Chipman again? What do I have to gain from this except a bunch of horny Facebook stalkers? I prefer not to get kidnapped anytime soon," Piper Chapman explains with an edge to her voice.

"Because I just watched that documentary about how people do it, and you could use something to let off some steam, Pipes," her best friend condones her.

Piper gets it; her friend is worried because she's gone into a hole after Larry broke up with her a couple of weeks ago. But who can blame her? She was in love, but Larry just didn't see a future with her. He broke her heart.

"But I don't want to lead someone on thinking that Penny Chipman is _real. _That would be cruel, and I am in position to break someone's heart like Larry broke mine," she tries to reason with Polly, but only receives a flip of the hand and a scoff in response.

Whatever, I'll do it today just to appease Polly, she thinks to herself, managing her way through the new account. But how will someone fall for this fake girl if she has no Facebook friends prior, Piper muses before shrugging her shoulders in indifference. It's not like anyone will fall for this stupid thing anyway.

"So how exactly am I supposed to find new Facebook friends, all-knowing Polly?" Piper asks. "Because I have no idea who to request."

This seems to stump Polly for a few seconds. In that time, Piper picks up her mug of coffee, bringing it to her lips in pure bliss. Coffee is always there for Piper, bringing her up when she needs it most. And, as Polly begins to talk again, Piper reckons she needs another sip of her steaming drink. So she takes one before setting her attention back on Polly.

"I got it! Go through some of your friends' friends and request those who you think are hot. That way you aren't directly asking your friends. It's genius," Polly concludes with a smile, knowing Piper can't weasel her way out of this now without endless mocking from her friend.

Piper resigns, succumbing to Polly's idea and the stupidity of it. So she goes through her friend list to see which person she is least connected with personally. Her eyes fall upon this one girl she met at Red's Bistro one time. Her name is Nicky Nichols, and Piper remembers the girl as a close friend of the owner, who Piper actually is acquainted with due to some business relations with the bistro. Nicky requested her the next day, and Piper accepted without really thinking too much about it.

Now, it's perfect that Piper is friends with her on this social media site. She clicks on Nicky's profile and proceeds to go through her slim selection of Facebook friends. Piper decides to ignore Polly's advice about only requesting the hot ones. She clicks on a few random guys and a few random girls and hopes one will accept the request so that Polly will get off her back about this really stupid idea of fun.

Piper tells Polly she is about to order some pizza when a sound alerts Piper's attention back to the laptop screen. Someone already accepted the request. The girl's name is Alex Vause, and it says she lives in Manhattan, is 24 years old and owns her own record store. Piper, out of curiosity, clicks her profile picture so that it becomes enlarge on the screen. It doesn't take a guy to tell Piper that this girl is very attractive. And it's not like Piper is attracted to girls or to this Alex Vause (despite something deep in Piper's stomach telling her otherwise). But, Piper thinks, this woman has no idea who I really am. Why not message her or something? Then, I'll satisfy this strange feeling I have and please Polly at the same time, Piper tells herself.

Taking the mouse and clicking the message button, Piper allows her alternate persona come out.

**Hey, hot stuff ;) **

Piper pauses, debating tying more but ultimately deciding to wait it out. But she reread what she wrote, a blush working its way up her slim face. She's momentarily glad Polly is in the bathroom still—pregnancy pee problems and all. On second thought, maybe Piper won't tell Polly about this, saying that she is messaging with some guy instead.

Piper is about to close the laptop screen, giving up on a response when she sees the message box light up.

_Hey, yourself, Ms. Chipman. Do I know you? I mean, besides knowing you're hot. _

**You want to know me. **

_Then I do. Tell me about yourself Ms. Chipman. A model, I presume? You're too hot not to be. _

Biting her lip, Piper tries to cool herself down from the rush of heat running through her body. It's not like those pictures are even of Piper. They're pictures from some modeling website that Polly managed to stumble upon earlier in the day when she conceived this whole idea. But, despite the pictures not being of her, Piper can't help the feeling she gets when Alex responds to her in such a formal yet sexy, flirtatious and seductive manner. She wonders what would happen if they actually met face-to-face; Piper would probably die from her insides burning up into flames.

**You know your models, Ms. Vause. But I'm only hot for one thing, and it's you babe. Only you.**

What is even going on, Piper mentally slaps herself. She can't believe she's staying this stuff at all. It's baffling her.

_Looks like we're on the same page. I might need to take a cold shower soon if I keep looking through your photos. _

A pause.

_What else do I need to know about you? _

Piper has her fingers on the keys and is about to type away, getting caught up in the whole thing, when Polly reappears from the bathroom.

"Piper, did anyone…"

Before her friend can continue talking, Piper shuts her laptop screen so quickly that she earns a look of suspicion from Polly.

"Hiding something Piper? Or should I say Penny?" Polly laughs as Piper's cheeks turn tomato red at being caught. "Who you talking to there? Someone hot that got your mind off stupid Larry the idiot?"

Piper rolls her eyes before picking up her phone to order pizza, deflecting Polly's attempts at breaking through her wall. After she places the order, Polly drops the subject (but she'll bring it up again, no doubt) and the two talk about Polly's pregnancy and upcoming baby shower. Piper knows Polly will talk about herself for days, and that allows Piper's thoughts to wander to a certain Facebook friend and her witty, flirty messages.

* * *

**A/N: So, I was lying in bed last night and reading all the reviews from Just Friends, and I was trying to come up with a new idea to write when this hit me. I stayed up writing the first half of this chapter until around 3:00 am. I hope you like the chapter! I think this is going to be one fun story to write (it's based off the documentary and TV show called Catfish). Piper's messages are in bold and Alex's are in italics and will be this way throughout the whole story. Let me know what you think!**


	2. Close Encounter

_**Two**_

* * *

Alex knows she needs to put down her phone and needs to stop messaging back Penny on Facebook, but, for once in a long while, Alex feels _happy _and, dare she say,_ alive. _The funny thing is that she's never actually met this girl in real life, never seen her face-to-face or heard her voice. But that doesn't even matter to Alex because she only needs Penny's words to make her have the feels. And that's something that surprises her.

**You sure seem confident of yourself, Ms. Vause. How do you know that I even like you? I mean, you don't know anything about me besides that I'm a model and that I'm pretty hot.**

_Those are two great things to know, though, if I do say so myself ;) but, really, at least tell me how old you are, kid. _

**Wouldn't you like to know ;)**

_I would. Very much. _

Putting down her phone, Alex takes a deep breath, trying not to think about how much of an effect this woman has on her. She can't even imagine what will happen when she finally meets her—if she meets her. Thinking about that for a second allows Alex to separate her heart from her head. Think logically, Alex tells herself. How do you know that this woman is even who she says she is?

Before Alex has a chance to ask Penny these questions, her phone buzzes, telling her that her friend has messaged her back. Tempted as she is to look at the response, Alex knows she has to take a step back from this whole situation. It's only been a day, but she and this gal have been messaging almost nonstop. The old Alex—the one pre-Jules—would never have taken things this fast. Old Alex was a badass motherfucker who did things her way. And it's time to bring that old part of her back out of the dusty closet.

Instead of responding, the dark-haired woman takes a peek at the clock and realizes that Nicky is sending her driver to pick her up in less than an hour and a half, which means Alex needs to put some pep in her step if she wants to be ready in time. She rolls her eyes at the thought of Nicky and her at this up-and-coming club. Sometimes, despite her young age, she feels a little old to frequent bars and clubs. She's always felt mature for her age.

So, Alex hops in the shower, turning up her stereo so that music blasts throughout the entire bedroom, and, subsequently, the bathroom. Dancing and singing while she showers, Alex feels herself truly relax for the first time in days. Water cascades over her body, and she lathers her wet self with body wash and her wet hair with shampoo. Finally, she steps out of the shower, wraps herself in a towel and walks to her closet.

On her way to her walk-in closet, Alex takes her phone off the charger and looks to see if she has any notifications or texts waiting for her. A part of her secretly hopes that Penny messaged her, even though Alex never responded back to her last message. But another part of her wants Penny to never respond back, making it easy for Alex to have a nice, clean, easy break from whatever this thing is. However, there will be no easy break for Alex because, lo and behold, there's a Facebook message notification on her lock screen.

"Ignore it, Alex. Ignore it," she murmurs, knowing it's futile because she is going to read the message. And once she reads it, it will show up as _message read_ and Penny will know she's ignoring her. But who cares? She doesn't owe this woman anything. It's not like she actually knows who she is anyway.

But Alex succumbs, like always.

**I can't stop thinking about you. **

A second later.

**Are you single?**

Alex's mind goes blank for a second, and her hand fiddles around until she finds that switch that turns on the fan in her room, knowing she needs to cool off somehow after that message from Penny. All she can imagine these days is Penny's face, her legs, her smirk. That's all it takes for Alex to shake her head, for a smile to play on her lips unwillingly.

_Yes. _

She tries to keep it short and sweet, as not to elicit a response from the other woman because she has to do her hair and make-up without distraction. Putting her phone on silent, Alex continues getting ready for the evening, blow-drying her hair, straightening it and putting a dash of make-up. Then she moves on to her dress—a skimpy black number that looks hella good on her. As she puts on the finishing touches of her appearance, she hears the doorbell rings and knows it's time to go.

"Bout damn time, Vause. I've been waiting for minutes out here. Let's get a fucking move on. I'm ready to get wasted and find a lady friend," Nicky says as soon as Alex opens the door. "Come on! Let's go."

Alex lets Nicky tug her to the waiting car—some fancy automobile that Nicky's parents own. It's really nice, especially the inside where champagne is waiting in a chilled container. Nicky pops it open, and Alex uses that time to check her phone again.

**Don't you want to know if I'm single? I know you do. **

Shudders run through Alex's body in waves, and it takes all her restraint not to tell this woman to meet her at the club because she sure as hell knows she could use the release. Actually, she needs the release. Why not invite her? It's a public place, and there's booze and music. It's perfect, and Alex wonders why she never thought of this previously.

_I know you're single, Ms. Chipman. I know these things, babe. Now, what are you up to tonight? Got any plans? _

"What are you doing on your phone there, Vause? Your shit-eating grin is out in full-force right now," Nicky asks. "It's a woman, isn't it?"

Alex tries to say no, but Nicky can read right through her if she lies. Better at least tell her the truth and see what her opinion is, Alex thinks. It's probably for the best to have a second opinion on the matter.

"Some random woman friend requested me on Facebook the other day, and we've been messaging back and forth for the past day," Alex explains, thrusting the phone towards her best friend, who exchanges the phone with a flute of champagne, which Alex greedily and happily takes in her hand before taking a drink.

It's quiet for a minute while Nicky reads through the messages between the two women and scrolls through Penny's profile. When she returns the phone to Alex's waiting hand, Nicky gives her friend a look of doubt, which makes Alex's heart fall a little bit (not like she'd admit that it happened, though).

"Whoever that woman is—if it is a woman—is totally pulling your leg, Alex. You're getting catfished," she concludes with a certain finality in her tone.

"Catfished?"

"You know, like that TV show where the guy helps people figure out if their online romantic interests are actually who they say they are. Spoiler, Vause, they never are."

But Alex is stubborn, always has been and always will be. It's part of her being, it's essential to who she is. And, despite logic telling her otherwise, she will not cave just because Nicky thinks she should. No, this gives her even more of a reason to press forward and to put the thoughts of fakeness out of her mind. She thought about it earlier, cutting it off with Penny, but why not have a little more fun?

"How do you know?" Alex fires back. "You don't know that for sure, Nicky. Look at what she's told me."

Nicky gives her friend a sad smile and is about to reply back when the driver stops the car, telling them they've arrived at the club. Before they even step out of the car, the two friends can hear the music pulsing, vibrating throughout the whole car. It draws them out, and they each feel hypnotized by what they see: a huge, draped entrance with flashing lights peeping out of the small cracks the drape doesn't cover. There's a huge line that is wrapped all the way around the corner of the street. Alex watches as people beg and plead with the bouncer to let them in. But the burly guy holds his ground.

"You on the list?" The deep voice asks. Nicky tells the man her name, watching as he checks the list and spots her name, asking for identification, which Nicky procures. "Go on in."

The two hustle inside, admiring the décor once they step foot into the establishment. Aside from the many flashing lights and speakers, it's a cool place. There's a huge wooden dance floor that is right in the center of the building, surrounded by drapes on all sides except from the entrance, closing it off to the rest of the club. There's a DJ at the front of the dance floor, controlling the music and the special effects. On the other side of the draped dance floor are a variety of different areas. One side is a long, huge bar, light up warm, sensual lights. The two other sides are lounge areas with couches and chairs.

"Where to first, Vause? Bar?"

Alex shakes her head yes, and the two head over to the bar to order a few rounds of shots to start. While Nicky tries to flag down the bartender, Alex takes another quick look at her phone, hoping that Penny responded. And she did.

**I'm busy tonight with a friend. Why do you ask, Ms. Vause? Care for company? I know you do. No need to hide it. **

_A friend? _

**No need to get jealous. She's a friend. **

_I'm not jealous. Why would I be jealous? I have no right to be jealous, Ms. Chipman. And, anyway, you're missing out tonight. Free booze and good company. _

**I am missing out ;) I wish I was with you. **

"Put that damn phone away and stop messaging your fake lover. It's time to find a real woman for you, Vause. One that doesn't hid behind a phone."

* * *

Piper's phone vibrates in her hand, and she anxiously types in her password to unlock the damn thing so she can read the message. This game she's playing with Alex is the only thing keeping her from thinking about her ex, and it's working. Maybe she should thank Polly, but that would mean admitting what she's doing and who she's talking to—a woman named Alex Vause. However, though, Piper feels slightly guilty for leading Alex on like this, but she reasons that this woman has to know this account is fake. I mean, Penny's account has like 5 friends and maybe 10 pictures.

_I'm not jealous. Why would I be jealous? I have no right to be jealous, Ms. Chipman. And, anyway, you're missing out tonight. Free booze and good company._

Type out a quick, flirty reply, she stuffs her phone back in her small clutch and turns her attention back to her friend Chrissy. The two have been friend since college, and Chrissy parents just opened some new club downtown. A few weeks ago, her friend asked her if she wanted to attend the opening party, and Piper agreed, thinking at the time that it would provide a great distraction to her recent break-up. But now, the one distraction she has is the only one she wants to talk to right now. And that's the mysterious Alex Vause. But, here she is, instead, at the club. It's a cool enough place, but she still wishes that she was laying around at home with a glass of wine, some slow music and her phone.

"Drinks are free for you tonight," Chrissy tells Piper, handing her a VIP wristlet. "Go at it, girl, and get a man."

Chrissy slaps Piper on the butt before she apologizes for leaving to make her rounds. Piper isn't really used to be alone in a bar, but she'll make the best of it. First, she needs a drink, though, if she plans on wandering around alone all night. The bartenders seemed swamped, but Piper holds her wrist up high in the air, attracting the attention of one the workers, who makes his way over to where she is sitting to take her order.

"What can I get you?" The bartender asks Piper, who pauses for a second to think about what drink she would like. For a second, she thinks about ordering a beer, but, on second thought, she decides to bring it back to her college years and order a margarita like Chrissy, Polly and her ordered back then.

"Can I have a frozen lime margarita?" Piper gingerly asks, licking her lips in anticipation for the tequila-filled drink. She is about to bring out her phone—again—to check if Alex replied when a sultry voice from behind fills her ears.

"It's a little cold out for a margarita, don't you think?"

On the tip of Piper's tongue is a witty comment that never makes its appearance. No, any words that Piper might have offered to the stranger are stopped at the sight of the person who made Piper turn around. It's not a man that said that, but a beautiful dark-haired woman who Piper actually knows quite well at the current moment. Of all the people and all the places, Alex Vause is hitting on her. And it's funny because she has no idea who Piper is—the creator of the Facebook account that the woman is currently conversing with. The irony, oh the irony.

"Hi," is all Piper manages to say after a moment's pause.

Another part of Piper is slightly baffled at the fact that Alex is hitting on her because that means that she has no regard for her other "relationships." Even though the person that Alex is talking with is technically Piper, she is still not _really _talking with Piper, just her other persona Penny. It's confusing, but the blonde actually feels a tang of jealousy for her fake Facebook account woman.

"Damn," Piper whispers to herself, earning herself a nice look from Alex.

"What was that?" Alex smirks, nudging Piper square in the corner before taking a seat right next to her at the bar. Piper dismisses it with the shake of her head. "Alright…so what's an attractive woman like you doing sitting all alone at a club? That's a fucking sin, kid."

And, at that moment, Piper realizes that she really, really likes Alex. But how can she navigate the waters now? It's typical Piper to do something that fucks up everything potentially good in her life. So she laughs (inwardly that is, so Alex does think she's some psycho—although she may be).

"Drowning out my sorrows," Piper says. "But not really. My friend's parents own the place and she brought me with her. Now, I'm all alone as she does her 'rounds.' Fun stuff."

"Well, good thing I'm here to keep you company," Alex pauses, waiting for Piper to tell Alex her name.

"Piper."

"Piper, I like it. Unless you're like your name and like pipes. Then not so fucking much," Alex jokes again, signaling for the bartender to bring her that same drink as Piper. The green alcoholic drink looks like heaven, and Piper can't wait to indulge in it—after Alex leaves, that is.

"You know, I could go either way," Piper daringly says, raising her eyebrow.

"Vause!" A loud voice booms. "Get your ass over here. I want you to meet some friends that might actually put up with your shenanigans."

A sad look crosses Alex's face, like she actually wanted to get to know Piper. But her friend keeps beckoning Alex to come over, so the woman reluctantly leaves.

"Catch you on the flip side, Pipes!"

And, with that, Alex walks out of her life as soon as she walked into it. Knowing that she only has one trick in her trick book, and that's through Penny Chipman. Whipping out her phone, Piper allows herself a nice chug of her drink before opening up Facebook and messaging Alex. When did things become so damn complicated?

**That black dress looks damn fine on you, Ms. Vause. **

Piper doesn't wait for a response before offing the rest of her drink, thanking Chrissy for the night and walking outside to hail a cab. As she waits outside in the cold for a cab, Piper hears two vaguely familiar voices making their way outsides. It's Alex and her friend, and, once Piper realizes that, she pulls her hood up so Alex can't figure out it's her.

"I'm telling you, asshole. She was at the club! She messaged me complimenting my dress. Why didn't she just come over and fucking say hi," Alex says, a hint of sadness noticeable at the end of her tirade.

"I don't know, man. Maybe because she—or he—doesn't want to reveal herself to you because she's a fake! Makes a whole lot of sense to me bud. You need to find a new girl. Not some online one," her friend comments back.

Piper's ears perk even more at this conversation but is steadily growing worried as the pair stops walking and stands only ten feet away from Piper at the valet section. She hears the friend hand over the number for the valet, watching as the young man nods.

"You fucker. I did find someone, but you managed to pull me away from the bar at that exact moment. The girl was hot, Nicky. And flirty and charming," Alex admits, making Piper's heart beat a little faster.

"You're going soft, Vause. Really, really soft. Ever since…" the woman trails off.

"Say it."

"Well, since Jules, man. She made you soft," Nicky says quietly. "Anyway, did you respond to _Ms. Chipman _yet?"

Alex is about to say more when a cab finally arrives, and Piper hops into the cab so fast that she didn't know she could even move that quickly. Not more than a minute into the drive and Piper's phone buzzes in her hand.

_Are you even real? _

Those words force Piper's heart into two after hearing the conversation outside between Alex and her friend. She feels so bad about leading Alex on like this, but she doesn't know if she can stop herself now. Piper craves taking on the role Penny. It's something…new. And different. It makes Piper feel empowered and in control, which she never was in her previous relationships. But she doesn't want to lie, especially now that she's met the woman. What would happen if Alex wants to meet face-to-face again, and Piper gives in? Alex for sure would recognize Piper now. God, this is all fucked up.

**I'm as real as you want me to be, babe. **

_Let's meet up. _

**Well, I'm pretty busy for the next few weeks. I'm traveling for some shoots with my company. But I want to meet you. I really do. **

_Ok._

And Piper leaves it at that.

* * *

**A/N: Things are getting a little messy for these two now...**


	3. The Meeting

Chapter Three: The Meeting

**Why the cold shoulder, babe? **

_There's no cold shoulder from me. _

Piper taps her foot anxiously, wondering where this change from Alex came. It's making the blonde nervous for some odd reason, and, logically, Piper knows that it's because she likes the woman, which is scary. And, like the night at the club, Piper is jealous of Penny, something she can't wrap her head around. She honestly just wishes that this whole situation would go away.

"You've been glued to your phone, Piper. What's going on?" Polly asks, appearing in the doorway of her office, giving her the signature Polly glare.

Turning off her phone inconspicuously, or so she thinks, Piper swivels in her office chair to face her best friend. She's always one to be embarrassed easily, and now is no exception as her cheeks steadily turn a different color. If Polly noticed that she keeps doing something on her phone, Piper knows she's too attached—Polly never really noticed anything besides things in her life. That's just how she is, and Piper doesn't fault her for it.

For a split second, Piper thinks about fudging the truth. She can imagine Polly's smug grin and triumphant aura the moment Piper lets it slip that she's conversing with someone via Penny Chipman. But she can also imagine her reaction when Polly realizes that Alex is a woman, not a man. It would make for an interesting conversation.

Polly is still waiting patiently for an answer, having made her way to the small couch in Piper's office.

"It's….nothing," Piper says slowly, knowing at once that Polly doesn't buy it at all. "Fine. If I tell you…"

"Which you will."

"_Ok. _When I tell you, there is to be no judging and no smugness. Got it?" Polly nods. "So I've been talking with someone recently."

Piper can't even get another word out.

"Oh my God, Piper! Yay! Who is it? Tell me everything? How did you meet him! Is he hot? Of course he is. You only like hot guys…"

Piper allows Polly to rant and be excited for her for the next minute or so until her friend finally slows down her speech and takes a deep breath. Then she gives Piper a sly grin, like she's one lucky gal. Now, Piper really doesn't want to spill the beans about how Alex and her met and about Alex's, uh, gender.

"So?"

Here goes nothing.

"Well, Alex, that's who it is, we met via Penny Chipman," Piper starts.

"You dog! Oh, this is juicy. I knew you'd use the account. I knew it! Did you tell him that the account is fake?"

Piper shakes her head no. "Alex has no idea, and, to make matters worse, she hit on me at the club I went to with Chrissy on Friday."

Crossing her fingers, Piper waits to see if Polly heard her refer to Alex as a woman. And, after a few seconds, she watches her friends face scrunch together in understanding.

"She?"

"Yeah…" Piper drawls. "I didn't plan for that, let me tell you."

Polly doesn't say anything right away, which causes Piper's blood pressure to shoot through the roof. She couldn't deal with Polly turning her back or feeling uncomfortable around her now.

"Well, is she hot?"

Piper grins.

"Oh, she's gorgeous, Pol. And she's witty—kind of an asshole sometimes—but flirty and smart. It's weird. But now I'm stuck in an uncomfortable spot because she wants to meet me in person, and, the thing is, she already has met me at the club. I mean, as Piper, not Penny, so what will happen if we meet and she realizes it was all fake but that I'm the one who dragged her along? There is no way she'll be ok with that. Hell, Pol, I wouldn't be ok if someone did that to me. I could've made it better by admitting who I was when we met at the bar, but, of course, I didn't. God, this is all fucked."

After that soliloquy, Piper slumps down on her desk, burying her head into her arms and groaning in frustration. Everything good in her life turns to shit. It's the story of Piper's life, and, after her long groan, she actually starts laughing at the whole situation. It's absurd, the whole thing.

"The way I see it, Piper, is that you have two options. Either end all conversation with this woman and move on or meet her face-to-face and hope for the best. I mean, do you like her? Is it worth it?"

All Piper does is shake her head yes before resuming her laughter. Eventually, Polly caves and starts to laugh, too, making the both of them sound like a bunch of hyenas.

_Ding._

Slowly, the two stop laughing once Piper picks up her phone to see what notification she received. The moment her eyes find her phone screen, her inwards drop.

"It's Alex, isn't it?"

It is.

_Sorry, I've been weird, kid. It's just that I'm nervous to talk with you because, let's be real here, how do I even know you are who you say you are, Ms. Chipman? _

"What did she say?"

"Basically, she knows deep down that I'm a fake. And when she finds out it's me behind it, she's going to be crushed."

**I guess that's something you'll have to think about, Ms. Vause. Why make things more complicated right now then they have to be? I'm just looking for some fun right now ;)**

Polly is leaning over Piper's shoulder now, reading the conversation between the two. Once she reads Piper's reply, she shoves Piper in the shoulder.

"Don't lead her on anymore!"

"What else am I supposed to say? That I am a fake?"

"Oh, I don't know. Damn, Piper, you've really twisted yourself into a knot there."

* * *

"You're fucking moping around like some love struck teenager, Vause! I mean, shit, I thought you were bad after Jules left, but you're acting worse now and you don't even know this girl," Nicky all but screams at her Alex, who is currently tidying up a few of the stacks of records.

Alex wants to tell her she's right, that she is acting like a child. But she won't admit to it, at least not to Nicky. That's for damn sure. All Nicky seems to do these days is roam around Alex's shop and talk shit about Alex's love life. Most days, Alex wants to punch her, and today is no exception.

The store is a vintage record store. Besides records, Alex finds and sells antiques and cool little trinkets. She isn't rich by any standards, but records are making a comeback, and Alex's shop is one of the best in town. It's an average life, but Alex is content and happy with this aspect of her life. Her social and romantic life, though, could use a little work, obviously.

"I'm not hung up on this chick, ok? I'm curious. That's all."

Nicky shoots her a look that conveys her disbelief to Alex's statement. Saddling up next to Alex, Nicky looks to see what records her friend is sorting through. Currently, she has her hands on a record by Frank Sinatra. Most people think that Alex likes punk rock music, but Nicky knows she likes smooth classics. It's cute in a weird way.

"You like a girl that you've never met. And when she doesn't respond back within ten minutes, you go crazy," Nicky notes. "You need an intervention, Vause. Tell me about that girl you met at the club. What was her name again?"

Alex thinks back to the other night and to the woman sitting at the bar. She was cool and easy to talk with, not to mention beautiful. If she had more time, Alex would've really turned on the charm. But, as it was, Nicky dragged her away at the most inopportune time. Of course.

"Oh, yeah, her name was Piper. I'm not sure what her last name was, though. But I do know she was fucking hot," Alex explains, smiling a little when remembering Piper's comment about going both ways.

Nicky stands there for a second, contemplating—something Alex is sure she's never seen Nicky do previously. The door rings, and a customer enters the shop. Alex's says hello, letting the man do his browsing in peace. She prides herself on being helpful but not in-your-face.

"What did this Piper look like?" Nicky asks slowly, causing Alex to worry a little.

"Blonde, medium height, good bone structure."

While Alex continues to list some other features of Piper's, Nicky is zooming through her phone, obviously on a hunt for something. Once the bushy-haired woman's face lights up, Alex knows she's found what she was looking for in her phone.

"This is what she looks like, eh?" Nicky thrusts the phone towards Alex, who stares at the offered screen as if she is seeing a ghost—or, more accurately, Piper's ghost.

"How did you…"

"We're friends," Nicky starts. "Well, at least on Facebook, that is. But I thought she was as straight as an arrow. Hmmm, I would've tapped that if I'd known."

Alex's jaw is practically on the ground at this point. The chances that Nicky knows Piper are, well, one in a million. But apparently she was that one.

"I think you should let me set you two up, Vause," Nicky exclaims happily. "I mean, you already tried to get with her. Let's make this happen. You need to get your mind off..."

_Ding._

**Sitting at my photo shoot and thinking of you ;) I keep imagining you're my photographer and we're having a private shoot…..**

Nicky's voice is all background noise as Alex read and rereads the message she just received. If Alex was crazy attracted to Penny beforehand, she definitely is now. Her body is on fire just by the words she is writing. Alex can only imagine what it would feel like to feel Penny's touch. That thought alone sends another jolt down her spine.

"So I just messaged her your number."

Those words bring Alex out of her haze and into a new one. Outrage.

"You fucking did what? No, no, no. That makes me look desperate, Nicky! And I am not a charity case, ok?"

"Never said ya were, asshole."

All Nicky does is smirk.

The glow of a laptop screen illuminates Piper's face. It's almost midnight, but she can't stop Facebook messaging Alex. At this point, this whole charade is a drug that Piper cannot get enough of. It runs through her body, coursing through her veins, making her want—need—more. She's tried to tell the other woman the truth on multiple occasions. Hell, Alex has given her an out. But she keeps charging on, taking hits of this newfound drug.

**I see you like blondes, Ms. Vause. **

_Yeah, which is good for you ;)_

**You are so full of yourself. Maybe I'm just talking to you out of sympathy.**

_You're not. _

_And what do you mean that I like blondes? _

**Your ex? I might have creeped through some of your older profile pictures. Took an estimated guess.**

_Ah._

**Why do I get the feeling that you're a woman of few words? **

_I have no clue :)_

**So…ex? Recent?**

_I guess we're on this level, huh? _

_Yes, my ex is a blonde. Her name was Jules. We dated for a long time, but she left me to run after a job in Europe. It's a pretty recent break-up._

**Well, she's an idiot. But it's her loss, my gain :) that's for sure, babe. **

The conversation fizzles out after another ten minutes or so, leaving Piper to her own thoughts and problems. One of these said problems is the fact that that girl Nicky Nicholas messaged her one of her friend's cell phone numbers. At first, she was surprised that Nicky would've thought she batted for that team, but, once she read the rest of the message, Piper knew why she got that idea.

The number she gave Piper was Alex's. At this point. Piper believes in fate because there is no way that choosing Alex to message then seeing her at the bar then someone giving her Alex's number in a span of a week is anything but fate. And that scares Piper so much. It also makes her nervous of the eventual blow-up that will happen when Alex finds out the creator of the fake account she's messaging.

Moreover, Piper hasn't had the balls to text Alex yet, despite instance from Nicky, a woman she barely knows. Like at all. Anyway, she's had a day to mull it over, and there have been so many times that Piper's fingers have typed up a text and hovered over the send button before deciding not to send it. And it all comes down to the fact that it will look so bad that Piper never came clean about the account before texting her.

That leaves Piper with only one thing to do. As that's meet up with Alex as Penny. Or meet up under the pretense of Penny because, obviously, when they met, she will know that Piper is Penny and Penny is Piper.

Now, all that's left to do is set up a date (the thought of a date with Alex makes her heartbeat run rampant, like a horse stampeding through vast plains).

Opening up her laptop again, Piper gathers what's left of her courage and logins as Penny.

**Hello, Ms. Vause. Would you like to meet this upcoming weekend?**

* * *

A flashing light reading "Open" beckons Piper into the quaint, little bistro. The owner, Red, is one of Piper's business partners. She pays Red to advertise her and Polly's handmade soap business, which has seen a considerable boost in profits after Red began featuring their company. Thinking this would be good common ground for her date, Piper arrives 25 minutes early to collect her thoughts and, more importantly, her courage.

As Piper waits, Red spots her sitting there white as snow. After a few seconds, the Russian walks over and pulls out the seat across from her, welcoming herself without an invitation.

"What brings your little white ass into my restaurant on this fine day, eh?" Red jokes, sporting a huge grin, evidently ecstatic to see her business acquaintance sitting in her establishment.

An internal battle wages on as Piper decides whether or not to tell Red the real reason she is here. One part of her wants to spill the beans and hear what Red's take on the situation is, but another part of her knows that somehow Red probably knows Alex and doesn't want to be sliced up by Red's sharp tongue. But, she knows Red will wiggle the truth out of her no matter what, so better to tell the truth to begin.

"I'm meeting someone here," Piper explains slowly, hoping Red won't press the matter.

"So, you chose here why?"

"Common ground," Piper again enunciates. But when Red gives her a questioning look, she decides to elaborate. "I'm talking to some woman on Facebook, except I'm talking to her on an account that isn't, well, exactly me."

Red's face contorts into an odd looking shape, one full of confusion and disappointment. She lays her hands down on the white table cloth before folding one into another.

"Explain."

No more words need to be said as Piper goes on a small rant about what exactly she has been doing and all that has happened since the day of Penny Chipman's conception.

"And who is this woman you are—what do you call it—messaging with?" Red asks.

Piper allows a minute or so to pass before she dares to utter the name that has been filling her thoughts every second of the last two weeks. The hustle and bustle of the restaurant, along with the clatter from the kitchen, provide a decent bit of background noise as Piper waits to speak.

"Well, Ms. Piper?" Red eggs on, her accent nice and thick.

"Her name is Alex Vause."

Piper sits and waits for Red's tirade, but all she receives in return is a scorning look and a few words that strike Piper right in the conscious.

"You are playing with fire, my dear. Try to avoid the flames."

And with that, Red pushes the chair backwards, standing up in one final swoop before making her way back to her kitchen, where the blonde already hears her loud Russian voice booming directions.

Pulling out her phone, Piper notices no new messages but takes account of the time. She realizes it's minutes until Alex appears, and Piper can already guess how the situation will unfold, especially at the beginning. Thinking does nothing good or beneficial for Piper; instead, it thrusts unwanted butterflies into the pit of her stomach, threatening to break free and fly around her head in an attempt to make her feel guiltier.

Once the chime over the door rings, Piper needs no warning to know that Alex has arrived. She can just feel her presence, even with her back to Alex. That makes Piper all the more worried and nervous because she feels how strong their connection is and knows she will ruin it with this date or whatever it is.

Piper turns slightly, watching the dark haired woman search the inside for her date. While Alex thinks she is looking for long-legged, glasses wearing, smirking Penny, what Alex doesn't know is that she is actually looking for a small, blonde imposter. For a second, she thinks Alex is going to walk out and leave. But, once her eyes connect with Piper's, Alex's lips stretch out into a smile.

"Hey, Piper, right?" Alex asks politely, knowing full well that Piper doesn't believe the woman forgot her name. Piper tries to reply, but her mouth feels full of marbles, so she opts to nod instead.

"Cat got your tongue there, kid," Alex mocks, the smile still on her face, a glint shimmering in her eye.

"Yeah, something like that," Piper muses as she takes in her companion's appearance, which per usual, is an all-black outfit. But, damn, it makes her look sexy in Piper's eyes.

"Hmmm," Alex hums. "So, I heard my buddy gave you my cell phone number. I'm a little curious as to why I never got a text, kid. Can I say my pride is slightly wounded?"

Piper wants to laugh at the absurdity of the whole matter of not texting Alex, of meeting her here under false pretenses. As Alex takes the seat next to her—like Red did earlier—Piper's senses are blown into overdrive with the close sight, arousing scent and spark of electricity that comes with being in this close proximity to the other woman.

"Don't be offended, Alex. It's not you," Piper starts.

"Oh, it's one of those, 'It's not you, it's me' situations then, huh? I thought we hit it off pretty well at the club, Pipes," Alex tells her seductively.

Piper bites the insides of her cheek in nervousness. The woman sitting across from her is amazing; she knows that from all the conversations she's had with her as Penny. And she doesn't want to ruin everything, despite the inevitability of it occurring. Part of Piper wants to put off revealing herself. But another part of her cannot take the deep guilt lodged in the pit of her stomach anymore.

"Trust me, that's not it all," Piper whispers as Alex leans over the table slightly more.

_It's now or never._

"I have something to tell you."

Alex chuckles. "A little forward there, are we, Pipes? But ok, I'm all ears. My friend isn't here yet so I have some time."

Looking around the small place, Piper takes in a sharp inhalation, enjoying the last moments of peace and saneness in her life before she drops the bomb on Alex. The woman is looking at her with a sly grin on her face, wondering what on earth the blonde will say to her, but Piper knows that she won't be expecting to hear that she is Penny Chipman. That's probably the last thing she will expect.

"Ok, well, um…shit. Al, I'm going to say this and you're going to hear me out and not interrupt, ok? Because I like you, and I think you're funny and an asshole in a good way. And you're beautiful," Piper rambles. "But I know who you are here waiting for."

Alex doesn't heed Piper's pleas to not interrupt her, going forth with her own words.

"Oh, Nicky told you about her, did she? It's just something I do for fun. You know, for kicks and grins. My talking with the girl online means nothing to me if I have you. If you agree to go on a date with me?" Alex explains gently, causing Piper's guilt to rise up in her stomach and threaten to come out of her mouth in the form of vomit.

"No, Nicky never told me about her."

Alex looks genuinely confused for a second, still not connecting the dots on what Piper is trying to convey.

"Then how?"

And then it all clicks for Alex. Piper watches the dark-haired beauty think, her glasses shoved to the top of her head, her eyes scrunched in deep thought. She watches as Alex turns her deep, wondering gaze on Piper, anger latched onto her face.

"No…."

Piper sighs. Her heart is breaking into two as she struggles to watch Alex figure out why Piper is here and not Penny. How Penny found Alex on Facebook. How hesitant Piper is being currently. She watches it all. And it crushes her.

Alex moves, like she is about to stand and leave, when Piper notices her hesitation. Acting on that hesitation, the blonde grabs Alex's wrist, forcing her to stay seated, forcing her to listen.

"It started off as a joke. My friend Polly wanted me to do something to get my mind off my ex. And so she created the account. But I can't pin the blame on her. I was the one who requested random people who were friends with my friends. You just happened to be one of them. And I couldn't stop once I started because I liked talking with you a lot. So much, actually, Al, that when I saw you at the bar the one night, I thought I was going to explode with sensation."

"So, you kept leading me on after we met at the club? You didn't think to drop the fucking act? And then you lie to me constantly as Penny. I mean, damn, how the fuck would I even trust you now? I don't even know you!" Alex snarls, anger bubbling to the surface and spilling over like toxic waste.

As much as Alex is right, Piper can't help but hold on to a sliver of hope. Hope that Alex will overlook this whole fiasco. Hope that Alex can forgive her. Hope that Alex wants her as much as Piper wants Alex. Hope. That's all she has now.

"You're right. You don't know me. You know Penny. And you liked talking with her and she liked talking with you. I felt a connection with you like no other, and I couldn't stop because I wanted you. And I'm not a shady person, I swear. This whole thing that happened is not like me. Please, Alex, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done it, I know that. But you talked back to me, too, despite your hesitations and concerns. And now, I want to get to know you as Piper. I want you to get to know me. The real me."

A waitress takes this as the moment to walk over to the table—the table where a heated argument is happening. Piper waves the waitress off, saying they are going to leave soon. She feels bad about shooing the waitress away, but, at the same time, all she can think about is her mess of a life.

"I'm sorry. I can't," Alex stutters. "Bye Piper. Or should I say Penny?"

After those words slashed a burning cut to Piper's heart, Alex pushed back her chair and stalked outside, leaving Piper there with tears in her eyes and regrets in her heart.

* * *

**AN: Sorry, it's been a while. Truth be told, I had this already almost written (as two separate chapters) around Christmas time, and I just forgot to finish writing it. So, I decided to combine the two chapters into one as a gift for you all because of the wait. **

**Also, for [iamsober], Piper and Alex do have a mutual friend through Nicky on Facebook. However, the other account (Penny) is a new account, which means that she isn't friends with Nicky on Facebook, making Penny and Alex have no mutual friends. Piper, when finding people to friend request on Penny's account, searched through her friends' friends on Facebook to find someone that she is not connected with. So, while Alex and Piper both have a mutual friend through Nicky, that didn't actually know each other until they met at the club. Hope that clears it up!**


	4. Roses and Gifts

_**Four**_

* * *

One tequila.

Two tequila.

Three tequila.

Floor.

* * *

A buzz of noise. A flash of light. That's all Alex can process at the moment. She feels heavy—her brain and her body. And somewhere deep down, her heart, too. The heaviness is subsided by softness all around her body in the form of a bed and pillows. Squeezing her eyes shut even tighter, Alex takes a shallow breath before succumbing to darkness once more.

"I've never seen her this fucked up before, Ms. Vause. It's like this bitch did a number to her. More than even the fucker Jules did. And that's fucking saying some shit, man. Really," Nicky curses to Alex's mom.

Trying to block out the sound (and the light), Alex takes a pillow in her left hand, bringing it down over her face, essentially smothering herself. Alex, clueless as to where she is and what time it is, pretends to fall back asleep, hoping to hear the rest of her friend's conversation. But, alas, Nicky, who saw the black-haired woman force a pillow over her face, takes pity on her and moves out of the room.

As she lays in the room, bathed in a tinge of darkness and light, Alex tried to recall the events from the previous day. And, once the memories start flooding back into her brain, she vividly remembers why she took to the bar straight after for continuous shots of tequila until her body gave out from the alcohol she so much forced into her veins. All because of a stupid blonde who wriggled her way into Alex's life in two different ways. One, as a fake. Two, as herself.

But how does Alex even know who the real Piper is? How? That's the question to which she will never find the answer. Why? Because Alex doesn't need anymore fucking drama. And that means she needs to start her drama-free life by ridding it of any bat-shit crazy people. Piper's the first on that list. Definitely the first.

"You idiot," Alex mumbles to herself into the pillow below her. "You fucking idiot."

All she wants to do is punch the shit out of the pillows, out of anything. But right now her head is heavy and her stomach is upset, meaning she is about to endure one of her worst hangovers to date.

Taking the chance to catch a glimpse of the clock, Alex realizes it's 6:45 am, which confuses the fuck out of her. No one in their right, hungover mind would wake up at almost 7 in the morning. When you're drunk, waking up is the hardest thing in the world. All you want is more and more sleep. So why is Alex up this early? And attentive, no less?

Before she reels back into her memories, the door squeaks open to reveal a very tired looking best friend. Her hair is a frizzy mane, but she wears it well as she strides into the room with no regard to how Alex is feeling at the current moment.

"Looks like someone is finally awake," she drawls in an almost whisper.

"What do you mean, 'finally awake'" Alex questions, searching her mind for any hint of what Nicky is talking about.

All Alex is met back with is a sigh and a slight smirk before Nicky scoots into the room (which Alex deduces has to be Nicky's) and plops into a comfy looking chair parallel to the bed.

"Dude, you went and got black out drunk at like 4 in the afternoon. Thankfully, you didn't have a fucking passcode on your phone," Nicky pauses. "Because you didn't, the bartender found your most recent phone call—aka me—and rung me up to pick your sorry ass up. And the whole ride home you kept fucking talking about Piper being Penny. Care to elaborate?"

Groaning, Alex lifts her head slightly, a feeling like a hammer pounding her skull persisting. No wonder she's so hungover. Tequila gets her every time, that's for damn sure. It's like liquid crack; once you have a little, you can't stop and gets you fucked in zero time. But now tequila reminds Alex of Piper. Of when she met the real Piper at the club's bar, ordering a margarita of all drinks.

Yes, most things now remind Alex of Piper or Penny these days, and it's fucking with her mind because she can't figure out why this woman is affecting her so damn much. Even Jules breaking up with her didn't affect her to quite this extent, and she dated her for years. Whereas, with Piper, she met her once and liked her, not knowing she was this alter ego person Penny, and, damn, Alex liked Penny. She was ballsy and flirty, funny and serious. And the fact that all this talk from Penny came from Piper, well, it's too much for Alex to handle at the moment because Alex, without a doubt, liked Penny, which means, inadvertently, she liked Piper. And the confusing part of it all is that Alex liked Piper, too, while she liked Penny. But how is that possible?

No wonder she got drunk last night.

"Earth to my asshole friend?" Nicky says, waving her hands in front of Alex's glazed over eyes.

Alex, in response, slams her body back down on the bed, moaning in hangover pain and annoyance of the whole situation she found herself in.

"Not really, no. I wouldn't like to elaborate. Just let me fucking wallow in my own pity for a while. God, I need it."

And it's true, Alex does need it. After her split with Jules and this whole Penny/Piper fiasco, she needs a break. She needs time to process. More importantly, Alex craves time to herself, time to cry and yell and throw things because of how fucked up things are for her. She needs her mom.

So that's what Alex is going to do. Take a long weekend this Friday and make the drive to New Hampshire to see her mom. Yes, that is what Alex needs.

* * *

"Is there anyway you can tell me where I can find Nicky?" Piper asks in a small voice. The woman hovering over her is no less scary than the first day she met her (or the time she came over to give Piper a piece of her mind).

Despite her talk with Red before Alex showed up the other day, the feisty Russian still makes her nervous, especially when Piper is confronting her in some sort. But right now, she needs to make things right with Alex somehow. And the dark-haired beauty is ignoring her, which Piper expected and doesn't blame her for doing. So that leaves her with only one option: Nicky.

"There is a way I can tell you, my blonde friend. But I know my Nicky had to deal with a very drunk friend the other day and may not want your, uh, presence."

It's been exactly three days since her life blew up right in her face. And Piper knew Alex would react the way she did because Piper would have reacted the same way—or worse. Since that day, Piper has not shown up to work, ignoring her responsibilities as a co-owner, earning her some snide and rude remarks from Polly. Whenever Polly would snap at her, Piper would play the 'you're pregnant and will need time off, too,' card, which, albeit, is a low blow. But it's all she has as a response weapon. Anyway, it's not like Piper didn't need the time. She actually really, truly needed it.

And the fact that Piper feels this way about a woman who really only knows her from a fake persona—well, let's just say it scares the hell out of her. It's not that she likes a woman. True, Piper has only dated men in the past, but she's always had little women crushes, attributing this to a fluid sexuality. It doesn't bother her, even though she knows her parents will flip if they found out. No, the reason this whole thing scares Piper is because there is something about Alex that draws her in like a magnet. A magnet in which Piper can't avoid the attraction. Feeling that bond, that connection, with someone that quickly (and through a fake account no less) is what terrifies Piper because she can't explain it. She can simplify it or use logic. Because everything about this whole situation is illogical to say the least. Moreover, she can't pinpoint what exactly it is about Alex that she likes so damn much. Yeah, she's attractive. Unnaturally so, actually. But it's more than that. It's…her whole essence. It's everything. From her assholeness to her charm.

"Please, Red. I messed up. I did. But I have to make things right, and if that costs me a few bruises and slaps, I can handle it. I, I deserve it, ok? Please help me," Piper begs, feeling like a child in a candy store.

Piper watches as Red battles with her heart and her mind, leaving Piper anxious and scared. If this falls through, Piper will have to resort to basically nagging Nicky through Facebook or stalking Alex to get to talk to her. And neither of those options sounds too appealing or workable. This is it for Piper. If she can't get a hold of Nicky some other way, it means that she will drop the whole thing and move on with her life.

"Fine," Red snaps. "You're in luck. Nicole is in the back right now doing some work for me. Go."

No more words are exchanged, and Piper takes her cue, shuffling back to the kitchen where she hears a noticeable voice and sees noticeable hair at the very back of the space. So far, the other woman has taken no notice of Piper, talking animatedly with a brunette in a pink apron and wearing red lipstick. Finally, the brunette points at Piper, causing Nicky to turn around, a scowl quickly adorning her face as she realizes who the intruder is. Stomping over, Nicky comes face-to-face with the woman who cracked her friend's fragile heart.

"What the fuck do you want, Taylor Swift? Want to fool some other poor, unsuspecting female?" Nicky spats, and Piper knows she deserves it. More than deserves it.

"Can I explain?" Piper asks shyly, trying to not quiver and quake. "Please?"

Nicky gives a sharp nod, thrusting an upright palm outward, signaling for her to get on with it already. So Piper does.

"You got to understand that I never meant to hurt Alex. That damn Facebook account was a way for my friend to get me to do something after my ex broke up with me," Piper begins, only to be interrupted by Nicky right away.

"You know, Chapman, most people go get drunk and have a one night stand if they want to get over an ex. They don't go fucking making a fake profile."

Piper sighs, already feeling like this is a losing battle. Nicky is spitting fire, and Piper, ignoring Red's advice from three days ago, is not avoiding the flames. She's being encased by them, burning up in the them, suffocating in them. And it's torture.

"Yeah, I know. My friend saw some dumb documentary about fish or something."

"Catfish."

"Yeah that," Piper agrees. "She wanted to do it. Don't ask me why. But I bought into once Alex accepted Penny's friend request. There was—is—something about her that drew me in, and, once I was in, I couldn't find a way out. I didn't want a way out. I liked her. No, I like her. Then, we happen to meet at the damn club and there went my life, Nicky. Meeting her as Piper, as me, I knew I was done for. But I just couldn't stop talking to her as Penny. I liked being Penny because Alex liked her. And I liked Alex."

Nicky is drumming her fingers on a stainless steel fridge, listening raptly to Piper's explanation. Piper pauses to take a breath and to make sure Nicky is following. A small nod tells Piper to continue as Nicky keeps drumming her fingers slowly.

"Yeah, so then, Alex seeks me out. The real me, Piper. And so I knew I couldn't fuck around with her anymore. I told her the truth and, well, you know the rest."

Piper finishes, leaning against a countertop and catching her breath. She watches as Nicky stops drumming her fingers, instead, pondering all that's been thrown at her in the last few minutes. Piper's stomach is full of nerves—butterflies flying around uncaged and free. She doesn't know what more to say, so she doesn't say anything.

"So you came here to tell me all this?"

Piper immediately straightens up at the sound of Nicky's voice. There's a little bit of empathy in it, and, understanding what this means, Piper decides to play on that empathy and use it to her advantage. She has no other choice.

"No. I mean, yes, sort of. Actually, I wanted your help. I need to fix this, and Alex won't answer any of my texts. I don't know where she works or lives or anything. So, I need you."

And Piper watches as Nicky's walls slowly crumble.

"Fine, I'll help your ass out, T. Swift. But if you fucking break her heart, I'll give you a swift kick to your vagina, ya hear?"

Piper nods before divulging her plans to win Alex back. To show her the real

Piper. To earn the other woman's forgiveness.

* * *

Life for Alex Vause goes on. It's been a full week since the disaster that is Piper Chapman (and Penny Chipman), and Alex has successfully avoided the blonde's attempts at reconciliation. It's not that Alex doesn't want to forgive Piper. She just don't know if she can. Honestly, Alex barely knows Piper, so no harm, no foul. She can move on. And she will after that nagging feeling of liking Piper leaves her.

During her long weekend trip to her mom's place, she had time to fully process what transpired, and her mom chimed in on the situation as well. She told her that Piper messed up, but that we all make stupid mistakes. That she could tell Alex likes this woman. That she should think about forgiving her.

But Alex pushed her mom's opinions aside that week, and here she is now, with a nagging feeling in her gut.

The door to her store opens, the little bell chiming. Walking into her store is, of course, her workless best friend. She's about to joke around with Nicky, make some snide remark, until she notices what her friend is holding in her hand: a single red rose and a wrapped box.

"Nicky, I know we are buddies and all, but I think you took it too far," Alex explains, gesturing to the gifts in the blonde's hands.

"Ha ha, Vause. In your dreams," Nicky chides. "But these are for you. And, no, they aren't from me."

Confusion is now etched onto Alex's face as Nicky hands over the rose and gift. Turning the box over in her hands, Alex thinks about opening it right now before deciding to wait until she closed up shop and went home (which is in like 30 minutes, so, yeah, Alex can wait). The rose is a different matter. Rushing back to her storage room, Alex spots a vase that she keeps here for some reason, picks it up and fills it with water. Once she makes her way back to the main area, Alex finds Nicky gone.

Interesting.

The rest of the day passes by in a flash, and, before Alex knows it, she arrives back to her apartment with a vase and gift in hand. She sets the vase on her counter and goes to grab some wine. Alex has a good idea who this gift is from but there is no writing on the outside of the box, so Alex all can speculate on who the sender is. Deep down, she knows with certainty that it's from a blue eyed bombshell, but that makes her less sure if she actually wants to open because opening it means taking a step, taking a chance—again.

Instead of opening it right away, Alex takes her wine and consumes a few unhealthily large gulps. Then she turns on some slow jazz while perched on a chair facing one of her windows. It's a picture perfect scene. Or it would be if Alex wasn't all alone. Sitting there with music drifting in the background and wine in her hand is when Alex decides to make a change. No more being the one who is hung up over stupid women. It's time to go back to being her old self—her 'I give zero fucks' self. So she is going to open the damn box because if she didn't, she would transform back into her wallowing, sad self. Alex Vause can handle a damn gift. And if it's stupid, she'll throw it out. She doesn't need drama in her life. No, she needs good times and zero fucks. That's her mantra now: zero fucks.

"You're an ass," Alex tells herself proudly, trying out the words as if they are old clothes she picked out of the closest. "You're a fucking badass. And you give zero fucks."

With a strong nod, a silent affirmation for herself, Alex walks over and starts unwrapping the gift. At the very top of the small box is a small card. It has delicate handwriting, addressing Alex on the very outside of the card.

The card reads:

_I know you can't forgive me easily, but there is something about you that I can't let go of quite yet without trying. You wanted to know the real me, Alex. So I'll show you the real Piper. _

_Below are two movie tickets because there is nothing I love more than heading to the theater on a rainy day to watch some art film, chick flick or Hollywood blockbuster. You can use those tickets whenever and with whomever you want—but I'm hoping that once you forgive me, we can use them to see a movie together._

_Yours truly, _

_Piper._

Alex almost scoffs out loud after reading the card. This woman already believes that she will be forgiven. There is no doubt in her mind. But Alex isn't so easy to forgive, even if she is so attracted to this woman. She knows how to stay away, to put distance between herself and others, but part of Alex doesn't want to do that right now, and it frustrates her because it's all she wants to do when it comes to Piper Chapman.

After setting the card to the side, Alex picks up to prepaid movie tickets that are valid for any movie, any time. Tempted to throw them away or rip them up, Alex does the only other thing she can and sets them down on top of the card. She'll deal with them later. But now, she needs sleep. She needs a peaceful, dreamless sleep so that she can forget all about Piper and Penny and Facebook and movie tickets and roses.

But sleep doesn't come easily, and, before she knows it, Alex's alarm is blaring in her dark room. She wants to hit snooze but knows it's a futile attempt, opting for a hot, long shower instead. By the time she emerges from her scalding shower, it's already 7:15 am and she has to be at her store in a little over an hour to start setting up for the day. Hurrying along, she whips up a small breakfast, gets dressed and walks out the door and to her store two blocks away. It's a beautiful fall day, and Alex takes in the rays of the sun, knowing she won't get much sun until winter is over.

Her store decoration looks nice, her window display showcasing some old records and record players. Lights are streamed around the top, glistening in the dark window (Alex always keeps the string lights on in case someone walks by and finds it attracting and draws them in to coming back). Flipping through her key ring, Alex finds the brass ring that opens the front door.

She organized and cleans up for the next hour or so until the clock hits 9:00 am. Promptly, she unlocks the door from the inside and flips the open/closed sign to open. Then she puts a record on a player and heads back behind the counter. The monotonous task of opening up has kept her mind off a certain blonde, but now she has time to think again and thoughts come rushing back.

Before she has time to process it anything again, the door opens up. A tall man dressed in brown walks in holding a package, followed by a tiny woman with a vase in her hand. Thinking they must have the wrong store, Alex heads over to confront them.

"Are you Alex Vause?" The UPS man asks in a deep voice. She nods. "Sign here then, please."

Following all instructions from both parties, Alex finds herself in the possession of another rose and another gift. All from Piper. Man, this woman must have a plan or something. She is relentless, Alex muses. She knows she should just toss the box and rose out. Alex wants to be done with Piper's games, but, like she's thought about before, there is an electricity, a connection she feels with the blonde that she can't shake off.

"Damn presents," Alex curses out loud at the same time Nicky arrives. It's a daily thing—Nicky showing up and farting around. A lot of loyal customers think she's an employee here.

"Damn what?" Nicky asks while she walks closer. "Oh, hey. Nice rose Vause. That Piper girl is relentless. Kind of feisty and ferocious, too. She practically fucking begged me to help her."

Alex only stares at her friend.

"You gonna open it or not, eh?"

Giving in, Alex fumbles with the package. Once she opens it, another card is placed at the top. Here goes nothing, Alex thinks as she slits open the envelope containing the card.

_Alex,_

_Think you could get rid of me so easily? I hope you liked the first gift and rose (and didn't throw them out, though, I wouldn't blame you). _

_Another part of me that you should is that I own my own artisanal soap and lotion company with my best friend Polly. We started it as a hobby—and now it's grown so much that we are about to have our products sold in Barney's. I'm not sure what scents you favor or what colors you like (my favorites are pastel purple and pastel blue), so I took a guess. _

_You can use these products in the bath tonight. Try not think of me when you use them ;) _

_Yours truly,_

_Piper._

The box contains midnight moon scented products, including shampoo, body wash and lotion among other small things. Alex pops open the body wash o smell it, and she hates to admit it but it smells amazing. Ignoring the tingling feeling in her stomach from the last words of Piper's note and from the smell of the products, Alex shoves her face into her hands and wonders how she is going to survive more gifts from this woman before she breaks down and forgives her.

* * *

**A/N: Another chapter! Yay! And it's a little longer of a chapter, too. Let me know what you think!**


	5. Start Over

_**Five**_

Days pass by in a slow continuum unlike Alex has ever experienced. Her flower vase seems to multiply roses by the second, and her recycling bin is overflowing with cardboard from gift boxes—some from UPS, some from Nicky and even some from Red. As soon as the flowers and the notes and the gifts come, they go. After twelve days, equaling a dozen roses, the surprises all together stop, and Alex is consumed with a wonder and a thought. _Why? _

The four-eyed woman knew she should have contacted Piper sometime during the twelve days, but her fear of a broken heart won out. Alex couldn't face the blonde. As little as she still knows about her, she does know that she is turning over a new leaf, and that leaf doesn't contain a woman who tricked and manipulated her. And that makes Alex _laugh _at herself because she used to be the manipulator, the trickster, the badass spinster. Now, it feels like Piper filled that void with a damn fake profile, luring her in with fake pictures of a hot woman and fake, seductive words. She fell for it when she knew she shouldn't have.

So, here she stands, waiting in her record store on the thirteenth day for a rose and a package. But she gets none, leaving her to the same question again (why, of course). The sun makes its journey through the sky, and, before she realizes it, night has come and still, she is rooted in her store as if the gods will hear her plea and deliver. But, again, no one delivers anything, so Alex resigns herself to forgetting Piper for good. For congratulating herself on sparing her already crumbling, fractured heart from more damage.

Gathering her belongings, she makes the two block trek back to her shabby apartment. Her feet move on their own accord up the three flights up stairs and to her front door. She is on autopilot, swiping her keys from her jacket pocket and sliding the silver key into the door. A white hand is about to twist the doorknob when she sees something taped onto her door. The handwriting is familiar. Very familiar. And Alex hesitates—should she grab the note and read it? Or should she be done? Half of the dark-haired woman is tired of all these games Piper is playing. If the damn blonde wants her forgiveness, why doesn't she come see her face-to-face and fucking apologize? Is that too damn hard? Apparently so, Alex sighs.

"Forget the note," Alex mumbles to herself. She's had a habit of talking to herself ever since the split with Jules and the fiasco with Piper…Penny. Whoever the fuck it is. But, talking to herself aside, she grabs the slip of paper off the door.

Finally, she pushes open the black door to reveal the inside of her small, quaint apartment. Immediately, she goes for the liquor cabinet, another one of her recently picked-up habits. She consumed alcohol before it all, but, now, she drinks a lot more frequently, and Alex can't tell if this will become an addiction for her. Reasoning with herself to only have one drink, she grabs a cup and makes a vodka soda.

However, as she fumbles around her kitchen, she notices the vase of roses, the stack of notes and the pile of little gifts that she accumulated throughout the last almost two weeks. Besides the bath products and movie tickets, her pile contains a box of chocolates, a painted canvas with a quote, a stuffed animal in the form of an elephant and other assorted gifts.

Looking at it all makes Alex feel something in her stomach—something along the lines of guilt and frustration, sorrow and anger. And for the life of her, she can't discern what feeling it is. Hence, more frustration and irritation at the whole damn situation she managed to get herself into.

_Just forgive her already_, the good natured part of Alex tells herself.

_Fucking forget her, dude. You don't need the drama remember? _The badass side condemns.

It's like Alex has a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. What to do? Because she knows that she needs to choose. No more of this waiting game, back and forth shit. Alex either will give in or get out. But it's time for her to pick one. It's definitely time. With that, she downs her drink and decides.

* * *

"I've given up," Piper explains, a hint of sadness tinging her voice. "I mean, I did the whole 'twelve days' and 'a dozen roses' thing, but nothing. I heard nothing from her or Nicky or even Red. It's like I'm Santa Clause to her. I want to kick her ass for not even saying a damn thing to me, Pol!"

After the fourth day of gifts, Piper decided to end her mini-vacation and head back to work. Since then, Polly has had to endure a very emotional Piper. And that's saying a lot since Polly is pregnant and extremely hormonal. It's like they've evened themselves out with the emotions. But now, Polly has had enough.

"Fuck, Piper. Just go talk to her in person! Stop with the mysterious. It's like a Band-Aid. Rip it off and get it over with because I can't handle this anymore! I'm a hormonal, pregnant woman and all I want is mint chocolate chip ice cream and hot sauce. Not your drama."

With a huff, Polly exits the office they share, leaving a very wide-eyed Piper in her wake. To be fair, the blonde knows she's being overdramatic and annoying about the whole Alex thing, but she understands that it's a bad excuse for behavior lately. Mentally scolding herself like a mother to a child, Piper tells herself that this is it. Either Alex will forgive her and entrust her with another chance or she'll say thanks but no thanks. At this point, though, Polly is right. She needs to talk to Alex. She needs to know.

Brazenly, a sun-kissed hand reaches for her iPhone a couple of feet away. The sleek phone buzzed at the exact time Piper picked it up, revealing a text from the very person she is about to call. The fact that Alex texted her makes Piper feel like a balloon floating in the sky—free. Her insides warm up as if the sun is directing her glare right at Piper's heart. But she reminds herself that this text could either be good or bad, knowing to not have high hopes quite yet. Sliding her finger across the touch screen, she slowly gathers the courage to click the message app. What she finds in her message inbox doesn't appease her nerves at all.

**From: Alex**

** We need to talk. Meet me at Red's tomorrow at noon. **

It's not a question. It's a command in which Piper is easy to obey. Checking her schedule quickly, she is relieved to find no preplanned meetings or lunch dates with potential investors. Despite having time to meet the woman, Piper feels something in her stomach, eating her alive, making her nervous beyond belief.

All she wants is for Alex to give her a second chance. She needs the dark-haired woman to hug her from behind, wrap her arms around Piper's slim waist. She craves the feeling of Alex's lips on hers, reeling her in with a feeling. She desires Alex's touches, wants her seductive words breathed from her lips. She feels all that and more, regardless of only meeting her in person twice. It's crazy. Piper knows it. But she can't deny her feelings.

**To: Alex**

** I'll be there. **

And she will.

* * *

To take a few shots of liquid courage or not? That's the question running its course through Alex's mind. It could help calm her down, ease her nerves a little before her talk with Piper Chapman—the woman who has wormed her way into Alex's fragile heart and hard mind. At this point, Alex can admit that she likes the other woman still, but the fact remains that Piper lied to her and led her on even after she had the chance to cut it all off and be free. But can she put all the blame on Piper? That's another question for another time, Alex decides.

"Put the vodka away, Vause," Nicky slowly drawls from Alex's couch.

Alex asked her friend to come over and help her figure out what to do. Nicky, who normally butts in and spouts off her opinion without second thought, stayed quiet throughout Alex's whole spiel, refusing to tell her friend what to do once she stopped talking. Frustration from not only Piper but now Nicky has put her on edge—hence the alcohol. Or lack thereof now.

"Fine, fine. I'm putting it away. I don't need it anyway. I'm fucking Alex Vause. I'm a certified badass motherfucker," she laughs. "Yeah, I can fucking do this."

Nicky rolls her eyes in response.

"Have you decided what you're going to do?" Nicky asks in a surprisingly gentle tone.

That's what Alex is asking herself still. One moment, she is all about forgiving Piper and seeing where the wind takes her, but the next moment, she talks herself into needing time for herself, into needing freedom from, well, everything. It's like a ping pong game is being waged in her heart, and no clear winner is emerging.

"No, I don't. I guess we'll see what happens. I don't know, but I do know that I am leaving or else I will be late. You'll stay here, right?" Alex asks.

Nodding yes, Alex leaves her friend behind before she heads to Reds to meet Piper at noon. Knowing that the blonde is a prompt person, Alex takes a little more time than usual, not wanting to seem overly eager to be there. No, she wants the blonde to wait, to simmer in her uneasiness. It's what Alex does best.

Strolling along the sidewalk, Alex catches glimpses of passing people. There's a woman pushing a baby stroller. Right after the woman walks away, an older man in a suit sulks by, his phone pressed up against his ear. Farther down the road is a young couple sharing an ice cream. After noticing that couple, Alex feels a shudder rip through her, leaving her vulnerable and shaken up. That's when she picks up the pace and heads into Red's.

Alex spots her right away. Her blonde hair is done up nicely in loose, wavy curls. Her back is facing Alex, but the raven-haired beauty watches as Piper senses Alex's presence and turns around in her seat. She waves Alex over to the table nestled in the cozy corner of the place. Step by step, stride by stride, Alex's feet take her to Piper, a million feelings and mixed emotions running through her.

"Hey," Piper says.

That one word alone has made Alex's insides do something funny. She can't tell if it's a good funny or a bad funny, but that seems to be the case for everything in Alex's life when it comes to Piper Chapman. Instead of responding, Alex pulls out the seat opposite of Piper, sitting down with a flourish, proving she is still upset and mad over Piper's deception.

She watches as the blonde fiddles with her rings on her fingers before picking up a glass that Alex knows is wine. Just watching the woman across from her take a sip of her alcoholic beverage does two things to Alex. It makes her, one, want a drink herself, and, two, makes her want to lick Piper's lips for her.

"So, what do you want?" Alex snaps. She knows she needs to stop being so rude, but whenever she remembers what Piper did—all those lies and mistakes—it makes her insides boil. Silently, Alex wonders if the anger will ever abide or if she will be stuck with this pent-up anger forever.

"You asked me here, Alex. What do _you_ want? I've tried everything. I did a stupid, stupid thing, ok? I get that. I do," Piper exasperates. "But there isn't much left for me to do or say. It's up to you now. The way I feel about you—hell, it's fucking insane. And it scares me. So I did something dumb."

Alex sits there, unsure what to even say back to that. She knows the Piper is running on fumes, that if Alex doesn't act soon then she'll lose her. But that creeping doubt slides right back into her brain and there goes her conviction.

Piper is staring at Alex's face with a look of sadness and regret, as if she can't believe that she made this big of a mess. Alex feels the same—because, for the first time, Alex acknowledges that she had some part in those whole debacle. It takes two to tango, and lately she has been blaming Piper solely for the mess up. She could've stopped talking to her if she wanted but she didn't. She kept it on.

"I'm sorry," Alex says, surprising not only Piper but herself. "But I'm still mad, and I can't help it, Piper. I've had so much shit happen to me before this went down."

"Can we just rewind time, Al? Can we start over?"

Alex ponders the idea for a second. A short, short second.

"Yes, I'd like that."


End file.
